I had an interesting thought on the train to work this morning. I keep having these days/moments where I think about my past and miss certain times of my life, certain places I was in, certain phases I was going through. I keep thinking that back then things were easier, I felt happier, I dealt with issues better. I keep wanting to return to those times, places, and phases. However, this morning I realized that wanting to go back is simply stupid as I was never actually ‘happy’ in those moments. To return to those times would be going back to pretty much the same place I am in right now (minus all the progress that has been done), as the things I am trying to work on right now are the same things I dealt with before. I was reading my old journals the other day and guess what – all the things I was upset about before are still in my life. This is quite scary as some of those journals go back a few years. So this means that for the past few years I have been dealing with all this personal emotional drama and I am still nowhere near finding the solution. I am not saying that I am standing still – of course there was some progress made. I was able to overcome some of my fears, I learned to deal with some of my anxiety, I started finding what I truly like and want in life. However, this constant sadness that keeps returning almost on a daily basis is not something I need to learn to live with; I need to continue looking for ways to make it go away.