For the longest time I have been trying to find who I am. I have been searching for my true passions, looking for the things that make me happy, figuring out what I want out of my life. And what I have realized is that by overanalyzing pretty much everything that occurs in my life, I end up focusing on all the wrong things. I end up focusing on the things I don't have or don't want instead of being grateful for what I have; I end up evaluating my past or planning my future instead of living in the present; I end up beating myself up for all the 'mistakes' I make instead of rewarding myself for my little daily victories.
After an immense amount of research on the topic, I finally realized that all this self-discovery, which eventually turns into self-loathing, must end now. Now is the time to focus on what I love, what I am grateful for and what simply makes me laugh. Now is the time to manifest my dreams and passions into reality.
There are so many things I love: writing, New York City, fashion, art, music, life. And how sad is it that with all this self-analysis I forget just how important those things are to me. Therefore, today I decided to share more positive thoughts, creating posts where I am actually grateful for what's going on in my life. Some of it may be silly, some of it may be extremely serious, but regardless of its significance and meaning, this will be my way of getting back of track with appreciating my life in its present moment and documenting those treasured moments.
I would like to finally focus on cleansing and building my confidence. By cleansing I mean getting rid of things that are holding me back. That applies to various aspects of my life, such as my clothes and shoes, things in my room, my blogs (I used to have quite a few, and now I closed some of them), my insecurities, my indecisiveness, etc.
I am learning to make decisions and stick to them, and be confident in my choices. It will not be an easy journey, but I think I finally found my passion – writing about the things I love, documenting the good moments (not only my depressing thoughts), and working on creating love within me and all around me.