When I began this blog, my goal was to have this as my creative outlet. I remember I was going through some lows (what else is new, right?) and I needed something to keep me distracted from all the uneasiness I was dealing with. Creating this blog was the greatest idea as up to this date it brings me true joy and satisfaction to write here. The most important thing is - I do this completely and entirely for myself. There are times when I feel a bit embarrassed when I realize that some of my friends or people I know may come across this blog and read it (as it does come up in Google if you search my name). But at the end of the day, I really truly don't care who reads it and what they think of it. Yes, this is me, and I talk about a bunch of weird things on here - my mixed up emotions, my lows and my highs, my heartbreaks and my moments of 'enlightenment'; I post bathroom pictures of myself, I share my personal details - the list goes on and on. At the end of the day, what matter to me is that this is the place where I can be my real self.
I kept thinking about making this blog more of a 'picture perfect' place, where I would talk about only the good things, 'manifesting' all the great things in my life through my positive writing. But that's not who I am. I am not a person who can turn on my optimism. I cannot fake happiness, if I am feeling low. Not that I cannot physically do it - I could if I wanted to; but I don't want to. I like real, raw emotions. I like dealing with things that may not be pleasant at times, but truly getting to the bottom of them. I like analyzing the cause and effect of various events taking place in my life. Some people are able to 'close their eyes' on many things in life and just go with the flow. I like to keep my eyes open, stop and take a moment to reflect and appreciate the moment for what it is. Whether I am happy or sad, on the grand schema of things it does not really matter. What matters is that I am, I feel, I live.