I finally got a chance to do my makeup and hair to go out. I pretty much never do my makeup, I tend to just do something quick and simple. It is so much fun, though, to play around with some eye shadows and mix some colors. So here is it - some purple, some green, some dark gray. I was, after all, a unicorn for Halloween.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Just a simple outfit I wore to work the other day. Now that it's getting cold outside I will definitely be wearing more of these comfy outfits. Stylish will unfortunately no longer be the first priority; staying warm will take a more important place.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
When I began this blog, my goal was to have this as my creative outlet. I remember I was going through some lows (what else is new, right?) and I needed something to keep me distracted from all the uneasiness I was dealing with. Creating this blog was the greatest idea as up to this date it brings me true joy and satisfaction to write here. The most important thing is - I do this completely and entirely for myself. There are times when I feel a bit embarrassed when I realize that some of my friends or people I know may come across this blog and read it (as it does come up in Google if you search my name). But at the end of the day, I really truly don't care who reads it and what they think of it. Yes, this is me, and I talk about a bunch of weird things on here - my mixed up emotions, my lows and my highs, my heartbreaks and my moments of 'enlightenment'; I post bathroom pictures of myself, I share my personal details - the list goes on and on. At the end of the day, what matter to me is that this is the place where I can be my real self.
I kept thinking about making this blog more of a 'picture perfect' place, where I would talk about only the good things, 'manifesting' all the great things in my life through my positive writing. But that's not who I am. I am not a person who can turn on my optimism. I cannot fake happiness, if I am feeling low. Not that I cannot physically do it - I could if I wanted to; but I don't want to. I like real, raw emotions. I like dealing with things that may not be pleasant at times, but truly getting to the bottom of them. I like analyzing the cause and effect of various events taking place in my life. Some people are able to 'close their eyes' on many things in life and just go with the flow. I like to keep my eyes open, stop and take a moment to reflect and appreciate the moment for what it is. Whether I am happy or sad, on the grand schema of things it does not really matter. What matters is that I am, I feel, I live.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
After a lot, a lot of going back and forth in respect to what color my hair should be, I decided to stop on blonde. For now anyway.
For the past few days I have been thinking and overthinking "What am I - a blonde or a brunette?", "What color suits my personality better?", etc. I tried going through my old pictures, trying to figure out what looks best; I tried remembering what I feel more comfortable with, what makes me more confident. Surprisingly enough I realized that I can work with either one. They are so different, and they turn me into two different people on the outside; but on the inside, I am the same regardless of my hair color.
I am not a blonde for life and I am not a brunette for life. I am free in changing my appearance and in trying out different styles, and my decisions change based on how I feel during a specific phase of my life. I hate putting labels on people, and I do not want to put labels on myself. I do not want to constrict myself in who I am. I am versatile. I like changes. Some things I think through thoroughly, some things I do impulsively. I may be a little crazy because my mind is always racing faster than the speed of light, but it is me, and I accept it for what it is.
Rocking my inner Beyonce with this 'flawless' bracelet =)
Thursday, October 13, 2016
For the longest time I have been trying to find who I am. I have been searching for my true passions, looking for the things that make me happy, figuring out what I want out of my life. And what I have realized is that by overanalyzing pretty much everything that occurs in my life, I end up focusing on all the wrong things. I end up focusing on the things I don't have or don't want instead of being grateful for what I have; I end up evaluating my past or planning my future instead of living in the present; I end up beating myself up for all the 'mistakes' I make instead of rewarding myself for my little daily victories.
After an immense amount of research on the topic, I finally realized that all this self-discovery, which eventually turns into self-loathing, must end now. Now is the time to focus on what I love, what I am grateful for and what simply makes me laugh. Now is the time to manifest my dreams and passions into reality.
There are so many things I love: writing, New York City, fashion, art, music, life. And how sad is it that with all this self-analysis I forget just how important those things are to me. Therefore, today I decided to share more positive thoughts, creating posts where I am actually grateful for what's going on in my life. Some of it may be silly, some of it may be extremely serious, but regardless of its significance and meaning, this will be my way of getting back of track with appreciating my life in its present moment and documenting those treasured moments.
I would like to finally focus on cleansing and building my confidence. By cleansing I mean getting rid of things that are holding me back. That applies to various aspects of my life, such as my clothes and shoes, things in my room, my blogs (I used to have quite a few, and now I closed some of them), my insecurities, my indecisiveness, etc.
I am learning to make decisions and stick to them, and be confident in my choices. It will not be an easy journey, but I think I finally found my passion – writing about the things I love, documenting the good moments (not only my depressing thoughts), and working on creating love within me and all around me.
Friday, October 7, 2016
Fridays are meant to be relaxing. Therefore, my outfit here is a plain black shirt with jeans. Honestly, I mostly did this post to show off my hair. It's that time again - the time when I start freaking out about whether I should stay blonde or go back to dark. It also never helps when anyone I ask what suits me better responds "You can totally pull off both, they both look great on you!" I guess I can consider myself lucky for that, but at the same time it makes things so much more difficult because I can never find that "my color", where I pick one and stick to it for good. How nice would that be? No damage, no outrageous amounts of money spent.. But that's not who I am. I don't just make decisions and stick to them. No, I am the most indecisive person, and that's just it. And it's awful because I am never satisfied with my decisions. I always wonder "what if I chose the other option?" Definitely gotta do something about that.