Thursday, September 1, 2016

Free To Be Me

Here's a thing: I need a change. This time, however, it is not a change of my hair color, or change in my diet, and not even a change of my goals. I just mentioned how I keep changing my goals in this post, but I realize more and more that the only goal I need is to stop changing who I am and start focusing on the things that make me happy.

Why do I worry so much about the things that I do? Yes, I am a very indecisive person and it really gets to me, as well as all the people around me, but what can I do? It is who I am. It is an annoying part of who I am, but it still is a part of who I am. Yes, I like to run in all directions at once, but doing so helps me explore different things and learn more things about myself. 

I have been trying to 'figure myself out', trying to find the things that define me, trying to add more structure to my life by limiting my hobbies and preferences. And what was the result of those efforts? Every time I do that, I get bored. I get bored, and I get anxious. The more I try to put myself into a box, the more I realize just how much my freedom means to me. I love the fact that I can do different things at the same time. I may not be the greatest at any one of those things, but I am free in my ability to focus on various things, and that in itself adds structure to my life. I am free to make my choices, I am free to do and try different things. I am free to be me. That's all I need to remember.

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