Thursday, September 29, 2016

The Secret

Do you believe in the law of attraction? Last night I watched as amazing documentary on Netflix - The Secret. The overall premise of the film is basically that our thoughts materialize, we manifest everything that comes our way. It's called the law of attraction - whatever you wish for, think about or imagine having, you will end up receiving.

A lot of people would ask "Well, I only want the good things, so why do the bad things keep happening to me?!" Ok, well do you think about the bad things? The answer is "Yes", correct? So the interesting thing is that the law of attraction applies to both positive and negative vibes. The Universe does not differentiate between good or bad thoughts. Thoughts are thoughts, and whatever you put out into the world, you will receive in return. Our thoughts create our future. You know how sometimes you are running to a meeting and the least thing you want is to be late? You keep thinking "I can't be late, I can't be late...", and then everything just happens to make you extremely late to your meeting - you spill your coffee, you get all red lights on the road, your car breaks down, etc. Think about this deeper: when you say "I can't be late," what you really mean is "I am afraid I will be late," which to the Universe translates into "I will most certainly be late." And there you go - you've just put out a negative thought without even realizing it.

The same logic applies to the way we treat ourselves. If we continuously think "I don't deserve this," "I can't do it," "I will never have it," then all those thoughts will materialize. No matter how hard you have been working on something, if you do not believe that you deserve to be rewarded, you probably will not be, or at least not to the full extent. The Universe will take your thoughts literally, preventing you from having that thing you have been working for just because you believe that you don't deserve it.

Of course it is not possible to stop all negative thoughts right away, but it is possible to select what thoughts to focus on. Change the way you perceive the world around you as well as your own world. Instead of thinking "I can't have it, I do not deserve it," think "This is what I want, I have been working hard for it and I deserve every piece of it.' Throw away the doubts and start believing in yourself and in your life. Be confident that you will have what you want.

If you want love, start with yourself. Love yourself and accept yourself just the way you are. Start doing things to benefit your health. The thought process should change from "I will work out so I can love myself", to "I will work out because I love myself." As was mentioned in the film - we all have the potential and the power to create our world. You just have to decide if you really want it and if it's worthy of you, not if you're worthy of it.

I know there are always a lot of things that we can blame for not getting what we want. We've all had our sad stories. We all had bad childhoods, injuries, illnesses, bad relationships, etc. As the film says - those are all our past events, the "so-whats". The real question, the real "what", is what are you going to do now. You are the writer of your story, of your destiny. So pick up a pen and start writing your beautiful story.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Make a Positive Change

I was just talking to my friend about my favorite topic of self-acceptance. I started noticing this annoying trait in myself - I constantly search for reassurance from my friends and family. Due to the lack of self-acceptance, instead of doing what makes me happy and not looking back, I end up living my life by other people's standards and principles. In the process, of course, I move further and further away from my own standards and principles. In addition, I also become that annoying person who constantly plays a victim and makes it all about herself. Every step of the way, I feel the need to confirm that I'm doing the right thing; I feel the need to talk about my issues and hear those reassuring words that "Everything will be OK." The thing is though, we all have our problems, and people in general do not, and should not, care about other people's issues. It is OK to talk to your friends and get advice every once in a while, but when it becomes a constant pattern, it becomes detrimental to friendships and relationships. 

So after my conversation with my friend today, I decided to make a change and put in an extra effort to stop being that annoying, insecure person. Everyone has insecurities - you cannot be 100% sure you are always making the right decision or acting the right way. But if you decided to do something at the time, stick with your decision. Stop questioning whether or not it was the right one. You are the creator of your life - there is no one that can tell you what's right or wrong. No one knows you and your current situation the way you do, and when looking for reassurance from other people you give up that power to be in control of our own life. You become dependent on other people's opinions, and that leads you into those unwanted situations where you live to satisfy the others. So make a change right now and stop trying to live by other people's guidelines - it's not healthy for you and it's not healthy for the relationship you have with that person. 

And most importantly, learn to think positively and create good energy around you. Carry confidence and self-acceptance, and you will see how everything around you will shape up in the way that works for you.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Don't Try Too Hard

Don't try too hard because when you try too hard you set yourself up for disappointment. You lose your ability to see things clearly and to stay true to your ideals. In an effort to please somebody, you may end up displeasing yourself.  And what's the point of making someone else happy if it results in giving up a part of yourself? Before making your decisions, think how it makes you feel, not how it will make someone else feel. If it seems right to you - go on with it; if it seems like you're doing it for the others - think twice. There is nothing wrong with being a bit selfish when you do it for the right reasons. 

Thursday, September 15, 2016

What Are You Afraid Of?

One of these days just stop and listen to your inner voice. Is it encouraging you to get out there and do things, or is it giving you anxiety and preventing you from being you? For me it is mostly the latter scenario, sadly. I am afraid to express my sadness, anger, frustration; I am afraid to think outside the box; I am afraid to disappoint people around me; I am afraid to let people in; etc., etc. But at what point do you stop and realize that as long as you are not hurting anyone, you can pretty much do anything that makes you happy? Every person is an individual 'micro-universe' with its own rules and principles. A lot of times we tend to bend those rules and principles to accommodate other people, to be liked and accepted by other people. But when we do that, the balance in our 'universe' is thrown off. We lose our edge, we lose control over things, and we lose motivation to move on. So when that happens just think - is it worth bending your rules for someone else when as a result you no longer feel yourself? Is it worth making other people like you to your own detriment? Probably not, right? So why continue living like this? Why worry about being liked by others, when all we need to worry about is being liked by ourselves? Let's make a new goal - whenever you feel uncertain about something you do, ask yourself a question "If none of the opinions mattered (good or bad), how would I feel about it? Would this make me happy or would I still question it?" If this is something you are truly doing for yourself, then no other opinions matter. Do not get discouraged by other people's opinions, because they are just that - opinions. They do not (or not should not) play any role in your life. As long as you are determined to do something, as long as your 'universe' is being fulfilled, that's all the reason you need to continue.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016


These days, more and more I am leaning more towards casual outfits, whether it is going to work, going out, or going to hang out in the city on the weekends. I am not sure if it is the change of the weather or the change in my overall state of mind, but I just have a need to be comfortable. I know when I have to get ready for a night out and look fabulous I would be happy to do so, if necessary; however, right now I am more into the casual, "no-frills" look. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Life is a Puzzle

I have mentioned it before, how every year I go through a similar cycle of emotions, which is especially apparent during the fall season. As soon as it starts getting cooler outside, my mind is triggered into the same melancholic, and almost hopeless state (don't worry I come out of it eventually). Though this year seems a bit different. It's mid September, it's getting darker and cooler outside, and I am starting to get that familiar, vaguely sad feeling. However, my mornings now are filled with thoughts of gratitude and this very subdued feeling of happiness. Every morning I am incredibly thankful for living in my favorite city and still loving it. I had a number of attempts to leave New York. I was looking all over the country, I would even say all over the world (Mexico? Russia?), applying for jobs, looking for apartments. But somehow none of those attempts yielded any results. It's like something was holding me here, and now I cannot thank life enough for this opportunity (and also my mom for making me realize just how much I would miss this).

I still go through a whirlwind of emotions every day but I am learning to deal with them. Just a couple of years ago these emotional roller coasters made me miserable. They used to be strange and unfamiliar - I did not know how to handle them. Now they are my "known". Now I am learning to accept them and extract the best out of them. They help me see things in perspective and truly appreciate life for what it gives me. When I am happy, I am truly happy. When I'm sad, I embrace it and try to dig deeper to try and figure out what is causing my anxiety.

Our lives are like a puzzle. We are all given a bunch of pieces and we are given an opportunity to try and fit those pieces together. Some people go through the process strategically, exploring the given 'options', coming up with a plan of action and then bringing it to life. Some people opt out of the opportunity and just place the pieces in a random pattern to simply get by. Some people spend too much time trying to find the right piece on the first try. It's up to us to decide which way to take; but regardless of your chosen path, don't be afraid to misplace your pieces. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Memories of Our Past

Today I'm haunted by the memories and people from the past. Do you have those days when you think about all the people that touched your life at one point or another? People you used to know, used to hang out with, used to be in love with? Today is one of those days for me. I keep remembering the people that were by my side at different stages of my life and it makes me a bit sad to realize that with some of them I completely lost connection. I know it is not healthy holding on to your past (whether it's physical things, events or people), but I tend to return to my past quite often. I think ever since my mom and I moved to the States, our senses got much more heightened - we miss people and places more, we long for certain things more, and hopefully we appreciate certain things more. While the appreciation part of is a great gift, the rest of it isn't easy, because you end up constantly revisiting the past.

It just saddens me that for some people it is so easy to move on and never (and rarely) look back, and I am stuck in this constant longing phase where I try to move on but can't do it just yet. Somehow it is easier to 'bathe' in the memories of the past and 'wish' I could have some of those moments back, rather than get out there and enjoy the present moment. So instead, I just get through the present moments without enjoying them much, so months or years later I can truly appreciate them when they become memories. But the thing is that every moment is special at its specific time and place. You can try to re-live some of your memories, but they will not be as nice as the original events. So keep that in mind when you are thinking about how nice it would be to do something you used to do or to reach out to someone you used to know. Time goes on, people change, we change and something that was dear to us before may not be as special anymore. So keep those memories where they belong - in the past; cherish them but do not dwell on the past too much as you will miss all the wonderful things happening in your life at every given present moment.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Free To Be Me

Here's a thing: I need a change. This time, however, it is not a change of my hair color, or change in my diet, and not even a change of my goals. I just mentioned how I keep changing my goals in this post, but I realize more and more that the only goal I need is to stop changing who I am and start focusing on the things that make me happy.

Why do I worry so much about the things that I do? Yes, I am a very indecisive person and it really gets to me, as well as all the people around me, but what can I do? It is who I am. It is an annoying part of who I am, but it still is a part of who I am. Yes, I like to run in all directions at once, but doing so helps me explore different things and learn more things about myself. 

I have been trying to 'figure myself out', trying to find the things that define me, trying to add more structure to my life by limiting my hobbies and preferences. And what was the result of those efforts? Every time I do that, I get bored. I get bored, and I get anxious. The more I try to put myself into a box, the more I realize just how much my freedom means to me. I love the fact that I can do different things at the same time. I may not be the greatest at any one of those things, but I am free in my ability to focus on various things, and that in itself adds structure to my life. I am free to make my choices, I am free to do and try different things. I am free to be me. That's all I need to remember.