Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Someone I Once Knew, Someone I Have Become

This morning, I was overcome by the thought of how much I have changed since I moved to New York. The person I was, when I just entered the adult life of living on my own in the big city, and the person I have become almost two and a half years later are two completely different people. They would still probably be friends, sharing their similar positive outlooks on life, but they would definitely argue a lot about their tastes, preferences, hobbies, life choices. As I thought about it, I began to get more and more scared. “What if with all these changes I end up ‘losing myself’” But that fear was immediately followed by another thought of “you cannot lose something you never had, or someone you never found’. That is true. The person who came to New York was a young girl trying to find her way in life, trying to realize what was important for her, trying to develop her own style and taste, trying to be more confident about her own choices, but almost always being pushed over by the opinions and views of the others. That person was weak, but at the same time she was strong because she knew that she had to find her own way in life and she kept trying. Two and a half years later, little by little this girl has become a more self-fulfilled individual with her own opinions, with a higher level of confidence and with a better understanding of what she likes and what she wants to be.

I cannot say that I completely got over all of my fears and that I am absolutely certain about my path in life. No, not at all – I am still quite indecisive, I still get scared and I still am shy when I shouldn’t be. However, all in all, I have learned to be more accepting of my fears and flaws. I have also learned to embrace the fact of not knowing what life has in store for me, as I believe that the most interesting thing in life is just living it and taking in all of the lessons, surprises and rewards it brings.


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