This morning I had an epiphany. You know those days when you are brought back in time to an event or a decision that made a big difference on your life at some point in the past and you realize that with the crazy, ever-changing flow of your life you completely strayed away from it? In the fall of 2011 I made a, what it seemed like at the time, phenomenal decision – I decided to open a fashion and lifestyle blog. My hopes and expectations for the blog were quite high, not from the standpoint of how many readers I would get, but from the standpoint of how it would help me get over the anxiety and depression I was dealing with at the time. The blog did not fail me – with every post I would become more and more involved and excited about my new pursuit. I started creating new outfits, trying out new styles, developing a new fashion sense. I felt occupied by something that was truly interesting to me, something I could not get enough of, something I wanted to become better at. I would bring my laptop to school to work on my posts, I would write notes in a notebook on the train, impatient to come home and transfer them into a new blog post. I was restless, I was inspired – I was happy.
As time went on and life presented me with new challenges (some of them great, some of them tough), my blog slowly started turning into a place to express my fears and concerns, instead of my ideas and aspirations. Fashion posts turned into my diaries of dealing with certain emotions. However, at that point of time, that was exactly what I needed and I am grateful for having been able to do that, for having been able to put my fears out there and to always come up with an answer for my own questions. As I have been working through these fears and finding my ‘new path’ in life, the frequency of my posts became winding down until they came to almost a complete stop.