What is happiness? I keep looking for things that will ultimately make me happy. Finding myself, sticking to my diet, doing quality work, focusing on my creativity, going out, etc. But the more I focus on one thing, the more the other things on that list get abandoned, and I still end up not being entirely happy. One of my friends once told me that we cannot give our 100% to all the things we are interested in; therefore, we should really focus on one or two, and keep the rest to a minimum. The more I try to do it all, the more I realize that she might have been right. But it is so hard to prioritize, especially when your interests change so frequently. So following this logic, does this mean that essentially I will never be happy? I wouldn't like to think so.
Today I realized something. As I opened the Photos folder on my laptop, it opened to a photograph that my stepdad took on my birthday, when we all (him, my mom and I) had a celebration in Philadelphia. I looked so happy there! And it hit me - why do I keep looking for happiness when it's right here, right next me? I have wonderful, supporting parents; we are all very independent people trying to focus on our own "crafts," but when we get together, time seems to freeze. Well actually, time seems to fly even faster when we are together, because we always have so much fun we don't even notice how days go by, but our moments together freeze in our memories forever. Together, we don't need to pretend, we don't need to play roles, we don't need to be self-conscious about how we act, what we say and what we feel. We get each other. I think this is happiness - being able to be your own person, but always knowing that you have a place where people just get you, just the way you are.